In an effort to take all of the junk I have been storing in my brain this past week and let it out I am writing this post to my husband so that hopefully when he comes home from the Philipines next Monday I can sit and LISTEN to his stories and be inspired instead of spewing 13 days of toddler craziness at him.
Charles– In your absence you should be happy to know that I have been in surprisingly good spirits. In a way I consider being here cleaning up the aftermath of our daily toddler typhoon the best way I can help the Filipinos at this point. I get so excited each day around 7:00 am each morning when you call to give us an update…. and my hearts sinks a bit when you don’t get an internet connection and we don’t hear your happy tales.
Fiona was so excited this morning to know that you were giving the Filipinos spaghetti diners, and I was moved to know that to them, spaghetti diner is like a Christmas style feast (man we are so spoiled). When the house is crazy and I am trying to wade through all of our junk, I imagine you handing a simple doll to a child and how calming and comforting it feels to be around you.
My head has been reeling with stories about everything that has happened in our house. My brain has been holding onto all the absolute absurdity. You know the crazy stories about poop every where and three crying kids at the store all going boneless, and the internet guy seeing me in my underwear…. I thought I would write you a really funny post about all the madness. But tonight I listened to Handel’s Messiah on MPR and have been reflecting over the week in a much more positive light. Plus for like the 700th time this week I called my mom and told her I was losing my mind and she said, “Stop saying that Tacy! You are going to be fine this is just the place in life you are in right now.” It has stuck really stuck with me, and so I have been trying to replace all of my thoughts about my insanity and nervous breakdown with positive affirmations.
This morning your mom came over to play with the kids while I ran errands, and she asked me how things have been going. Honestly, besides the fact that we miss having you around, things have gone amazingly well. I joked with her that I thought sending you to the Philipines was supposed to feel like a sacrifice, but it really hasn’t. It just feels really good.
People have been so unbelievably helpful to me and the kids. I have had visitors almost everyday to break up the day and give me a moment of adult conversation. I had childcare whenever I needed it, and people brought me lots of food…. someone even went to the grocery store for me with a list (I love you Jenny!) I was able to spend time with some friends I haven’t seen in a long time, and I even got to spend a night with my cousins (you know how much I love those Krammer girls!) And on Saturdays I get to sit quietly in the Chocolate showroom and listen to Christmas music.
Our van almost completely died, and my dad came and picked it up and completely fixed it, new battery and the latch on the hood works now. He said it was our Christmas present, boy does my dad know how much I love practical gifts!! And speaking of gifts everyday there has been a package on the doorstep, and you know how excited I get to open up boxes.
I have received two anonymous envelopes with money in them saying that they were inspired by your service. And that is pretty much the sentiment that everyone has shared, they feel like helping us while you are away is a way of helping you help the Fillipions. It is just like this massive outpouring of Love. It feels so wonderful.
I actually feel like the the repentant Scrooge, although not stingy with my money, or a workaholic, the past few weeks before you left I was really struggling with my parental anger and I just felt like a jerk all the time. Disciplining kids is HARD (another post topic) and it was really draining my life force. I started reading a new book on discipline that is really helping me to shift my approach and end each interaction with the kids on a positive note. Now I feel like shouting out the window, “It’s Christmas! Hey you! Buy the biggest Turkey you can find and send it to Tiny Tim!”
You have inspired me and lots of other people. I am glad that it has all worked out the way that it has. There is a chain reaction of Love and Service in motion in Minnesota, and I am sure that you are seeing it in the Philipines as well.
This wasn’t a sacrifice, it was a really, really incredible blessing.
We love you and I can’t think of a better Birthday present than having you come home on Monday (but you can still buy me a present if you want :)… oh wait I already picked one up for you… for myself 😉
And now, a few photos: