Thanks for accepting my application for Health Care, there is no way my husband and I could afford having a baby without government assistance. I was just wondering however if it might be possible not to mail me hundreds of forms that are confusing and only have two sentences on them. I feel like a small portion of some distant serene rain forest has been torn down in order to provide enough paper to send me all of these forms. I just know President Obama really wants our country to be more “green” so maybe you could just e-mail me or something… or even better, just call me! My phone number should be readily available on forms 1 through 678. Yet I am starting to think that my case worker is actually a robot… so I understand if the current technology does not allow these machines to have actual conversations with human beings.
Also I was quite surprised to find out that my policy “does not cover anything Natural” (as stated by the kind worker on the telephone). I thought I would be saving you all some money by having a natural birth… I mean no $1,000.00 epidural, machines, or surgeon fees for a C-section. When I suggested to the nice insurance lady that my natural birthing class at a mere $230.00 would potentially save you all $770.00 she informed me that my “opinion” doesn’t determine coverage. I would be most appreciative if you would reconsider covering my Hypnobirthing class. You know Christmas is coming up and my birthday is also on December 23rd…. it could be my present. I figure the hospital would also greatly benefit from one less screaming woman in labor, I will be peacefully in a deep state of relaxation from the breathing exercises I will learn during the class and be able to birth pain free (without yelling at all the nursing staff).
I hope it doesn’t sound like I am complaining, just trying to help… it seems like there might be a efficient way of doing things down there. I hope you get it figured out! Happy Holidays.